a new life

so...i've been pretty sick. and for some reason i seem to like to document my sicknesses by taking pictures of myself looking miserable and send them to poor supporters (mom). 

while i was still in utah, i got struck with a pretty miserable cold and shingles. i felt very unlucky because i was just barely married and didn't want to be such a pain and whining all of the time. i also felt bad because i had to sit in the car for two days while driving to galveston. 

i have learned a lot about myself while being sick. nothing that i didn't already know, but more of a confirmation and reality check--i am a BABY. i am the WORST at dealing with physical pain. i am not a silent sufferer and am not good at functioning when i feel so miserable. while i have had a lot of time to contemplate my wimpiness...it has made me so worried and concerned for the future. how will i ever handle having to take care of kids while i feel this way? what if i get a terminal illness someday and am bedridden? seriously, lying in bed all day feeling useless is absolutely depressing. i have an increased measure of sympathy and compassion for those who suffer from severe illnesses. 

now, i must clarify...part of the reason i have been so sick for so long is because....

WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!

we are both really excited and feel blessed to be having a baby this september. i know this whole puking and exhaustion gig won't last forever. sometimes i just get a little discouraged because i wonder how i will be able to do this again. and i worry that i won't be the mom i always dreamed i'd be. i know that there are great challenges as well as great joys in store for us and i feel peace that everything will work out. but when you are so sick and exhausted you begin to wonder how you will ever be able to care for another person when you can hardly take care of yourself. i know that this too shall pass. and on a brighter note...not all of my days here in galveston have been full of throwing up :)

good times riding on dylan's shoulders on the beach. 

so i guess what i am really trying to say is that even though i may not be feeling my best right now, i know of a surety that 

the sun will come out tomorrow 

"far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. i may not reach them, but i can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." -lousia may alcott

**if you have never read a book by louisa may alcott, i would highly recommend it. she is so full of love and wisdom.